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Workshops aim to help PNG men break violence cycle

Posted 21 October 2013, 19:51 AEST

Workshops for men aim to break the cycle of family violence in Papua New Guinea.

A traditional Haus Krai, or 'mourning house', held in PNG in May, 2013, called for government action to help end violence against women. Most family violence programs in PNG are aimed only at women. (Credit: Audience submitted)

A new program for Papua New Guinean men aims to break the cycle of family violence in the country.

There is growing awareness about family violence in PNG, but most of the programs focus on women who've been victims of it.

Behaviour change consultant, Eddie Aila, says his men-only workshops tackle the issue before violence arises.

He runs workshops, '1,000 strong men against family violence', which he says enable men "to begin talking, sharing and healing" based on traditional culture that has been partly lost.

"We have this, what is called 'haus man': as part of traditional initiation ceremonies for a boy to become a man... he'd spend some time in a 'haus man' and he would get taught the principles of being a man by his grandparents and fathers and so forth. Now, we've slowly moved away from that," Mr Aila said.

"We've adopted the views of: we shouldn't talk about anything, especially our weaknesses and vulnerabilities because then we're exposed as potentially weak and so forth. Merely speaking about it helps us to recognise that one, we're not alone; two, this opportunity to gain knowledge and share can just release this pressure valve."

Mr Aila says many factors have lead to the rise in violence in PNG, including men's loss of self-worth.

"I think the economy as well, the lack of provision of opportunities for youth, education, cost of living - all of this stuff impacts on a person whether you're man or woman.

"If you're a man who's starting to lose cultural values and so forth and turning to things such as stealing and begging... that wasn't part of our tradition - it was shameful to do those things whereas, nowadays, because of the pressure of society and so forth, we're starting to adopt these behaviours. So I think domestic and family violence is just one area where we're starting to display very negative behaviour," Mr Aila said.

He says many of the stories he hears from workshop participants are about the abuse they endured as children.

"When we broke it down, we went right back - they got in trouble for stealing when they were eight or nine and they were a beaten up in a village in front of everyone and that shame was so intense that his belief was 'I'm not good enough, I'm just going to keep doing this because no-one loves me anyway.' That negative story creates the same belief - not good enough, I'm not worthy, I don't belong.' So they act out that behaviour and they don't realise it until they get into a relationship they don't know but they're just acting out negative behaviours and people think 'oh, it's the alcohol that caused it, or drugs, or this and that' when in fact the trauma started way back before they came into this relationship," he said.

Mr Aila says the workshops attract men from all walks of life - from corporate executives to those living in the squatter settlements.

He's aiming to involve 1,000 men by the end of 2013 to help change attitudes about family violence.

"I think men and women are starting to understand the true nature of family violence - (that) it's not a drug or alcohol or gender issue, it's a self-love, self-acceptance issue and we're not teaching our children enough, we're not setting the example as adults. I think the awareness... is helping people to understand the true nature of what is going on."

Additional Information

Country: Papua New Guinea
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Source: Isabelle Genoux
When: 26/10/2013

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