General News
Life as a deaf
By ANNA SALVADOR
My life started in Brunei where, in the early 80โs, my parents worked, my mother as a nurse and my father as an architect.
My two sisters and I were all born there. I am the youngest member of the family.
According to my parents, when my mother was three and a half months pregnant with me, she got German measles from patients that she took care of in the hospital.
When I was several months old, my parents began to wonder why I would not pay attention to them every time they called my name. They sent me to the hospital for a check-up where the doctor confirmed that I was indeed deaf. My parents were very disappointed and became depressed. But they continued to love me and raised me well because they know that God has plans for me.
My father wasnโt able to find a special education school for me in Brunei. I was thus sent home to the Philippines to study in a special school for the hearing impaired. I lived with my uncle and aunt while my family was in Brunei. I missed my family very much, especially my mother. I used to cry every time my mother left for Brunei.
LIFE IN SCHOOL
At four years old, I was enrolled in an oral school where sign language was prohibited and students were required to speak all the time.
I was required to practice talking all the time. I didnโt understand why I was not allowed to sign and I didnโt even understand why I was not allowed to learn to sign. The teachers, especially the executive director, always told me that using sign language will not lead me to success in life. I believed them and I thought what was the best for me was speech.
My mother sent me to a speech therapist whom I found very strict. He would get frustrated or mad whenever I mispronounced words. He would tell me not to use sign language and just to talk all the time. I was not happy though because all I did was to follow orders. I grew up thinking that using sign language was not the right thing to do because even my parents would not allow me to use sign language.
In Grade 5, we had new classmates from another school who were using sign language. They signed fast and were creative. I was amazed and I started to ask them to teach me how to sign. They told me that they couldnโt, because they knew that we were not allowed.
I begged and asked one of them to teach me even the basic signs.
I found signing very interesting and I wanted to learn more. Sometimes when the teacher was not around, my classmates and I would talk using sign language that we learned from our new classmates. Most of us used gestures. We were improving slowly without our teachers knowing. It was very interesting and at the same time, I was guilty for learning it since I knew we were not allowed to use it. The school added rules for us such as if the school caught a student signing, he/she must pay a peso!
I used to be very quiet and shy. I was not very confident. When I reached Grade 6, one of my classmates encouraged me to be active and funny. I learned a lot of jokes from my classmates and I soon developed my sense of humor. I loved making people laugh. They even said that I was like Mr. Bean!
Before I graduated from elementary, my father came home to the Philippines to stay here with my sisters and me. When my mother would come home for vacation, I felt very blessed to have my complete family here with me.
DEALING WITH DEAFNESS
One time in the mall, I saw a group of deaf teenagers joyfully communicating via sign language and being able to understand each other even though they didnโt talk. I was fascinated to see them without their parents with them and having freedom and independence.
I asked my mother to take a look at them. I told her I wanted to join them and learn more from them. My mother refused and told me they didnโt know how to speak like me.
I was depressed knowing that I was still not allowed to interact with the deaf people who use sign language. Was sign language bad or good?
My mother and my doctor said using sign language without speaking would not lead me to success.
But how come those deaf people could hang out without adults accompanying them, how come they could order their food, how come they did not feel ashamed if people see them signing?
In high school, many of us became more rebellious; we kept signing not minding anymore if the teachers scolded us. We felt like it was our right.
In my senior year, I had to transfer to the Southeast Asian Institute for the Deaf (SAID) because my school went bankrupt and was closed down. Here, I was required to take summer sign language class and I was determined to learn. I thanked God that He touched my parents to send me to SAID instead of a hearing school.
In SAID, I was surprised to see many deaf teachers. Some couldnโt speak, but were obviously succeeding. I started to stop believing my doctor and my mother that sign language would not lead me to success. I believe I can do it like them.
I learned Signing Exact English (SEE) and felt comfortable with this language rather than oral language. I liked the school, I liked the students because they helped me with SEE and they were nice to me.
Nevertheless, I would suffer at home where I wasnโt allowed to sign and spoke all the time. My speech therapist would scold me for using sign language, seemingly blaming my mother
for allowing me to sign and study at SAID. He hurt my feelings every time, even pulling down my high self-esteem. He discriminated me for using sign language and not speaking well.
OFF TO COLLEGE
Miriam College was initially my school of choice for college but my family didnโt think the course was right for me. I first didnโt like to study at the De La Salle- College of St. Benilde because it was too far from my house and I didnโt like using FSL (Filipino Sign Language) for fear that my English skills would deteriorate.
But I respected my parentsโ decision and went to CSB.
There I began to realize how important the use of FSL was. I started practicing using FSL โ and enjoyed using it!
I was also surprised to see many successful deaf people who are now working. Some of them could not even speak! They made me very proud that I started to be driven to succeed in the future. I was very curious how they achieved their goals. I learned a lot from workshops, seminars and especially
classes.
One time, the doctor told us to go and see him, because itโs been a long time that I had not visited him.
I told my mother that I didnโt want to see him anymore. I want my freedom.
Yes, finally, my mother allowed me to sign on the condition that I study hard. My self-esteem is back and I am very thankful that CSB has provided with me a lot of opportunities, with my helpful professors, and the CSB community.
Anna Salvador is taking up Bachelor in Applied Deaf Studies with specialization in Multimedia Arts (BAPDST-MM) in De La Salle-College of Saint Benildeโs School of Deaf Education and Applied Studies (DLS-CSB SDEAS) and the secretary of the Benildean Deaf Association.
Email from: MORI, Soya
URL reference: http://www.mb.com.ph/articles/229590/life-a-deaf
